They call me
Because I like to lounge
In the deepest nook of all the lands,
But I can’t be fully encapsulated by this title.
I wildly change—
A tangle of vines,
Sopping with water,
Like a terrestrial paradise.
I’ve encountered mysterious awe:
Floating toward the heavens,
Dancing across the sea,
Silencing the thunder,
Nourishing the ravished.
I’ve fostered other miraculous adventures:
Walk forward, and maybe I’ll sunder for you,
Go westward and gorge on milk and honey,
Head eastward and rest in safety,
Or play in my many fords
And make cairns on my shores.
But my favorite moment
Is when you dip your muddy toes,
Followed by your entire body,
Into my deep embrace
And listen to a whisper from heaven,
As a bird alights
And harmonizes with its chirps,
Together declaring your soul’s identity:
They call me
The Jordan River.
Throughout her teens and twenties, Biloved was inundated with Evangelical “purity culture,” which confined sexuality to heterosexual and procreative marriage; this ideology was emphasized by the church she worked at and the conservative Christian schools she taught at. Then, in her thirties, she discovered affirming theology and rediscovered the profoundly simplistic truth of the gospel (the good news): embracing the identity of the beloved (to be loved; Matthew 3:17) in order to love God, others, and oneself (Matthew 22:37-40). She also lovingly accepted her other identity as bisexual. Beloved+bisexual=Biloved. Now, she is passionate about empowering adolescents to courageously pursue their true identities and holistic growth. Tangibly, she serves as a sponsor of a gay-straight alliance club. In order to continue influencing within conservative spheres, though, she must remain anonymous for this publication. But, to her family and friends, she is unashamedly herself, Biloved.